Friday, April 10, 2009

What is love?

(Originally written 2/18/09)
Lamely blah title, but that doesn’t matter…

I had a really hard day this past Saturday (Valentine’s). Not so much any form of the typical “heartache” stuff, but rather dwelling on the realization of how much I’ve hated human love. It boiled down to his tidy couplet:

It hurts to be loved imperfectly. And it hurts to love others imperfectly.

The thought of words coming out of my mouth that destroy and don’t build, that impair and don’t help…hurts. The idea that I do things to the harm, and not to the benefit, of someone God truly loves…hurts. The times someone says or does something mean or unloving to me…hurts.

So, on the day the world celebrates its own idea of “love”, I was hurting. I didn’t understand Jesus’ words: “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” What? Why? To fall short and to hurt/be hurt again? Why would you tell us to do something we can’t do? Or can we, in You? Why…? Why…? Why..? (I’ve learned that when I start using the word “why” so much, I need to sit down and humble myself before the Lord).

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”

Being the Faithful One that He is, God showed HIS love for me through persistent friends, who that night would not let me stay at home in my sorrow and self-pity. I was literally crying as I walked to their house, battling through these thoughts and emotions. Yet God had me with my family, surrounded by love.

It’s pretty sad that the enemy can twist things to the point that there are times friends are kind, and I take it in as pain; maybe I’m scared to lose it? I don’t know, and that’s not the point of this note. I wrote this to offer up a topic for discussion, if anyone has thoughts/comments. I may have some more things, but I’m still contemplating.

So, loving hurts. Jesus knows that, more than I ever could. And Jesus tells us to love one another. I’ve always wondered what “carrying my cross” meant…is this part of that picture?

I pray the peace of the Lord and knowledge of His love to all of you. God bless.

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